Back to my old lover, is this my fault?

I have “ fear” to fall in love with someone new

Or I just feel lazy to love someone from the start again?

I feel like I’m wasting my time again just to love someone new

I’m tired to start new love with new people

I’m tired to have another conversation to make someone understand about myself

I’m tired to explain what happening in  the past with someone new so they can understand

I’m tired to introduce someone new to my family and friends

I’m tired to have another “fight and make up process” again

I’m tired to have another stage of  "make my heart feel comfortable” again with someone new

Is this my fault?

This tired feeling lead me to predictable way, yeah back to my old lover.

Did I too comfortable with my old lover?

Did I put myself to category “hard to move on”?

But when I came back together with my old lover, the old song repeated themselves again and again.

Another fight but the same mistake that exist from the past over and over again.

The same problem rise when I thought “I already pass this problem”

A part of me want to fall in love again with someone new without the stage of ”explanation, introducing , fight and all the fuss about relationship”

But there is another part of me want to back to my old lover because my old lover is already understand who I am.

i feel like standing in front of two ways that have their own risk

Should I take a risk?