Family = Priority

This is my conversation with my friend

Friends : I hate my relationship now with my boyfriend

Me : Why?

Friend : he treated me like his second option

Me : who is the first option?

Friend : His Family

me with a cold and harsh word replying  :Dear, you have to accept the fact that if you are not family,you are not priority”

Friend : I know, but …

Me : do you want to feel like a priority?

Friend : yes

Me : Became a family

Friend : how can you say that?

Me :darling, if you become family you have rights to be a priority. As a girlfriend you don’t

And after a quite long space between our conversations

Friend : Maybe it’s me that worry too much..

Me : it’s not only you, every women in the world worry too much. They just don’t talk about it or they don’t have people hear about their worries.

This conversation brings me back when I read the tweet from falla adinda about the times when she still dating with her husband.

 What she tweet is true,” if you are not family you’re not priority”.

If you are family member you have right to become a priority. If they abandoned you as family you have right to sue. But as a girlfriend or as a fiancée you don’t.

You registered to ministry, your name is under his/her name on the family registration card. You have rights.

And after a while I’ve been wondering  about the people who speak up about this situation.

Did they really treat their lover as a priority?

Or this is just a camouflage of “I love you but only in words and there is no action”?

Or they just want to be treated special but they don’t treat their lover like someone special?

If they want to be treated like priority they should be treat another side like they want to be treated.

Love is about take and give, right?

How do you expect to receive some without give some?

Do you have to wait your lover treat you like priority before you treat them as priority?

Or both side have to start slowly treat another one like priority so they can feel like a priority slowly?

Do people needs to be treated like priority to feel secured?

What exactly the standart of feel secured in a relationship?

Thanks to Falla Adinda for the tweet that inspire me to write about this thought